However, if he doesnt contact you it is entirely possible that he still misses you but he is just too stubborn to reach out (which I will talk to you about in a little bit.). How are things between you and your ex now? Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window). So, the scene I have just painted above is pretty simple. Thanks. She told me she will compromise. Well, you probably threw a tantrum. Now Im trying to get her back but she keep on saying she doesnt wanna be in relationship. We had few text in the first 10 day then I have been silent for the last. So what do you say when your ex contacts you during no contact (or after no contact)? Easier said than done but I believe in you. Theres no time it takes each person to go through all stages. He broke up 3 weeks ago. What about when you were in high school and you really liked a boy who wouldnt give you the time of day? And you will be looking at all the pictures they upload. The following Thursday I messaged to check in, he replied and said his head was all over the place. You had no say in the matter. We broke up on a Sunday and whilst I said i thought there was something to fight for he was clear wed made a choice to part ways and that was right. I did not wanted really get committed too soon in a relationship and would have preferred to take my time too. She told me she would manage her time for me. And when she does, b/c she will, you will need to be a different kind a man. I want you to think about something for a moment. There are two main reasons why your ex (who consistently treated you poorly), unfollowed you on social media: He just can't. He's hurt either by you or by having to see your photos. We ended on good terms, and I did a little begging on Thursday when he broke up with me but other than that I havent. What Happens When You Ignore A Breadcrumber? Be flawlessly polite and kind with all contact, but NEVER beg for your ex back. You see, in their mind they feel entitled to a response. It can be entirely possible that the no contact rule was working you just have no idea because he has an amazing poker face. Why does she feel like shes more of a babysitter to you?? In reality, it delays the time it would normally take to get on talking terms, because they associate all negativity, such as your neediness and the new anger they feel as a result of your persistence, with you. Or maybe for him is over? Well, one thing we already know is that your ex is extremely stubborn. Thats just the way the human brain works. I decided to walk away coz I felt i was being taken for granted. They prevent you from moving on. And yet, that simple idea turns out to be one of the hardest things to successfully complete when it comes to the ex recovery process. I told him I felt hurt and I would have contacted him when I was better. You women have a sense of entitlement. 3. In todays post, well discuss why your ex wont forget about you during no contact. Perhaps he just doesnt want a relationship with me. What about then? Men are expected to make the first move, pay for dates, text first, etc, etc (you get the idea.) Now, what does any of this have to do with a guy getting back at you?. While you are not contacting your ex, they are forced and allowed to experience the true consequences of their decision to break up with you. So, they are probably going to be thinking of the whole no contact experience as a game. And only gave a little time for me. And even then it would be hard to forget them unless they had a meaningless short-term relationship with them with nothing to remember them by. What else are you worried about? The day after the breakup I sent him a really long message saying it would be the last time I ever text him. I dont know if many of you know this but this website wasnt actually supposed to be a blog. He has said from beginning that he wasnot ready to committ to a relationship. Their status messages are going to show up on your news feed. She is going on a lot of trips, skiing every weekend, out with friends, and spending a lot of money on Distracting herself with everything she can possibly do. I said that out of anger and sadness but now idk if it was the right thing to do. When you ignore someone with the intent of making them want to talk to you more and instead they dont talk to you at all. To you, its all or nothing, as there is no middle option. In fact, I recently filmed a video about just that. Appreciate the effort though if youve replied. But also talked about how he should have made more effort. You Win Your Power Back. Then the following week msgs as normal and video calls told me she missed me and she told me she had removed me from Instagram as she had seen some comments on previous posts that made her feel insecure so she had to do that for now for herself, I said OK if thats what you feel you need to do thats OK I dont know what she thinks she saw though because I dont have anything there to make her feel that way I wouldnt ever go behind her back either Ive never been that way in a relationship. Like people said above, We took our power back from the experience of being dumped.. and to them it probably looks like you don't care anymore and blocking you is trying to get your attention and maybe have you feel a type of way to reach out @ some point. Her reasons for the break up (She is 24 and im 30, she wanted to live her life and she thought that not having the same sense of humor was important, she is from the Uk, I am from Venezuela, obvuisly if you like people from different countries there is always gonna be differences in that), I was the chef of the house, i took care from our 3 cats all the time, cleaning and helping at home, i know im not perfect but i concider that i was a total gentleman with her most of the time, even after the break up she told me (for much you have been the best boyfriend that i ever had, and I know i will get karma for leaving you, but i dont fell the same passion anymore, (honey moon period was over and she could not handle it)), we were together for 2 years and 6 months, and we lived together for 1 and 4 months. The point I am trying to make here is that silence is very powerful and the no contact rule uses silence to its advantage. Allow yourself to release the pain. What does it mean if your ex boyfriend doesnt contact you during the no contact period? Im really hurt about the fact that she could move on so quickly, but do keep wondering all the time if no contact is the right approach, and keep wondering even more if she is missing me and doing all these things just to get over me. Then said bye. Don't mope around. They would have to date hundreds of people for that to happen. Some men just take longer than others to make a move. May I add she also had been saying to me the week we started talking normal again how we were going to visit Brazil end of the year, all the things we can do together after corona virus has ended! That means for 30 days you arent going to talk to your ex in any way shape or form. All of this is irrelevant if she doesnt get to the last stage in decent time when you still want her. I know that was an incredibly weird picture for me to paint right now but the point I am trying to make here is that your ex boyfriend knows that deep down HIS silence will hurt you and its his only way of getting back at you without actually seeming crazy. My Husband Still Works With The Woman He Had An Affair With, posting depressing things online and feeling sorry for yourself. This guide is going to be looking at that situation specifically and breaking it down from your side and your ex boyfriends side. to name a few. He messaged me (1 time) 7days after the NC started, I responded him 4 days after message. Trust me, youll get her and you wont think about your ex much anymore. We lived together and got along very well. It can be entirely possible that the no contact rule was working you just have no idea because he has an amazing poker face. Of course, but he doesnt really need to in order for the NC to work. To reiterate my previous statement, staying in deliberate contact with your ex that doesnt want to hear, see or be reminded of you, is a huge mistake. That likely wont end well for you as youll soon exhaust the person youre with and suffer another romantic rejection. That will give him some time and space to miss you. For that one silly argument she wants to end it!! I feel for you.its painful losing someone you love. Is she really? Heres the issue. Neither of us have contacted one another. I love and miss him so much, Hey Claire, it is only you who can deicide if you want to move on or not, I am happy to give you advice with whichever path you choose. He responded again within 2hours.after that NC is continuing. If he contacts me then he contacts me. He talked about maybe how things annoyed him that he hasnt spoke of but wouldnt tell me what they were. If you ever talk to her, it should be her idea not yours. A week after i broke up with her, i started to miss her. I have no intention of getting him back or being with him . I broke up with my girlfriend after she betrayed me by cheating and denying about it. Updated. Her last post was about our dogs (4 years) birthday, but she broke up with us 4 months ago and is no longer part of our dogs I am very confused since it has now been 7-days since we have not spoke. In other words, his heart is having a major battle with his pride. 3. It could be that they want to keep tabs on you, or they're hoping to get back together with you one day. Or would some variation help? Also, I have the option to move out of state for a new job.should I take that, or continue to be in the same city, despite her not knowing where I am etc. Besides, sometimes you will have to message your ex first and earn the right back to get him to message you. I got a positive reply saying hes really missed talking over the last few days and would really like to talk soon. No one wants their ex to be prying into their business after the breakup. She got a lot of things going on with her life and she sometimes put me the very least of her priorities. Andtry to avoid women like this in future. Answer (1 of 6): It more than likely means that your ex wants no part of you. Hey April I would say that you need to complete 30 days minimum or 45 max before reaching out, Hi, we have been together for 8 months. I have heard nothing. I want YOU to take the first step and contact your ex boyfriend via a text message. Hence I feel that no-contact is more successful at helping the dumpee heal, but is less successful at helping the dumpee get the dumper back. Towards the beginning of this guide I went on this whole rant about how the no contact rule can still be working even if your ex doesnt contact you. youve never dated anyone as good as your ex. Anyway, your ex wont forget about you during no contact just because youll give your ex some space to breathe. Required fields are marked *. Hello! She would concentrate more on the things she wanted to do. Here is the deal though. I caught my boyfriend with his best friend girlfriend having sex and she has 2 kids for her boyfriend but I still love my boyfriend and I want him back I just started the no contact rule I actually blocked his line 3 days ago which I intend unblocking for 30 days but I can get a notification if he tries reaching my line. The breakup is here to teach you a lesson. In this case, nothing will ever help you see your ex in a better light. I tried to reconcile with no avail. Women who often visit this site message me asking something like, My ex boyfriend doesnt seem to be affected at all by the breakup. Dont waste your time or energy on something like her when you deserve better! On some level, he has an idea of when he thinks he can reach out. We were living in a fairyworld. Its really driving me crazy now. We were in a long distance relationship. Hi Mavis, you would need to do a 30 Limited no contact as you live together (I assume you still are) I would also have to assume by trying for a baby and it hasnt happened yet that maybe there was tension between you both. In other words, they get addicted to the compliments and admiration they get in a relationship and they convince themselves that the girl has to do all the work. What is in your control, however, are the mistakes you make after the breakup. You see, men and women are very similar in many respects. To start with a little bit of hope to cling to, rest assured that dumpers dont just forget dumpees. It really depends on what is going on in your exs life and Isuppose I could say maybe 2 months for each phase. youll need to understand the process we teach) so if you dont have that foundation I highly recommend you check out my best selling program to get it. What should I do? hello. Seriously, they will sit around and cry because he didn't call or text. One way to do it is through text messaging. When I wanted to work things out he tried but then later retracted and said that the distance wouldnt work out for us since he had moved back to California and I stayed in Oregon. However, there is one area where we are different and that has to do with communication. In other words, if the dumpee is out of the dumpers sight, why wouldnt the dumpee also be out of the dumpers mind? 1. Be mindful of your response to their text. Your NC time period has just concluded and you are debating on whether or not you should contact him via a text message. Endlessly It could be that he feels annoyed by your chains of endless status update everyday. Hi Alice, I think you have been clear with what you want from him and he has said he is not ready for that commitment yet. Well, what we know so far is that they feel entitled to a response. This means your ex will think about you more during no contact if things dont go according to plan. In y case both damaged by past relationship and on top 2years go I lost my daughter. Besides there are actually a few big advantages to making the first move. If you still have hope, you want your ex to remember you for your good qualities and behaviors. If he doesnt then he doesnt and it will be his loss., (And again, if he doesnt contact you that doesnt mean that NC didnt work.). In other words, in that massive guide I actually recommend that you are the first one to make contact with your ex after the no contact period. She said that she doesnt know how to make you happy and that she feels that she just makes you mad. To understand the true purpose of NC one must first look at the bigger picture of getting an ex boyfriend back (if you need the big picture check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.). If a guy has broken up with you the emotions he is going to experience after the breakup may cause him to feel like he was the victim. Do you remember what I said at the beginning of this section? He might wait for a while after the longest period has been exceeded. Your ex is happy with the way things are, so he or she simply doesn't need to contact you and discuss unimportant things. Dont ever think that its not. It was the day before New Years Eve. Mistake #1) Telling your ex you're going to go "No Contact". she had met all my family and me the same with her with the family she has here!! Keep in mind that he said hed love to be friends and that he still wants to talk to me. While your expectations have been managed your only human and you cant help but wonder what is going on in his mind. The true purpose is to make him feel like a part of him misses you. Do I reach out? My Ex Won't Talk To Me No Matter What I Do. Before I say anything else I just want to throw that out there. Seriously, they will sit around and cry because he didnt call or text. after that called 10 minutes after she tweet: Distance makes the mind more confused, anyway later a few days back by coincidence we attent to the same event, we saw each other but we didnt say anything, even if in acouple of times we look at each other straight to the eyes in the distance but no more. For now, just hit "unfollow" not "unfriend" so you're not tormented by his Facebook updates. Consider this section to be your attitude adjustment when it comes to no contact. I mean, I already compromise a lot of things for our relationship like I refused a job offer to work in another country just to stay near for her. Its been 5 months and no contact. One of the most asked questions I get from coaching clients is to explain the reasoning behind a man who doesnt contact you during the no contact period. In the beginning he was periodically call me and text me very little now that Im at this point he has been calling me every day as often as multiple times a day. I just received a text at the 24 day mark. My boyfriend ended our 5 and a half year relationship by saying he wasnt happy. And if he doesnt feel it, then maybe he just doesnt love me like he would love another woman. Remember, the line between love and hate is very thin. 5. University of Idaho murder suspect Bryan Kohberger may have been driven to kill by his history of social issues and a possible "incel complex," a former FBI . Thanks. Beware of that. First though, I would like to take the spotlight off of him for a while and talk about YOU. Then you are going to be extremely disappointed and depressed if stuff like this doesnt happen at all. Maybe you have just started it or maybe you are coming close to your end date. He didn't unfriend me for a while (during which time he started posting pictures of himself with other girls), but then he unfriended and blocked me completely and kicked me from a group in which he was the admin. After we split within two weeks he started dating someone else who he is still with. If your ex chose to do so, let her. Or it definitely etely over for him? Im 4 months out from a 7-year break-up, and the past few months we hooked-up, hung out, had fun, and fought for each other here and there. Endure it The best thing u can do is focus on the present On what u r doing Dont let ur mind wander off to her.. Hope u live a happy life And things work out for u. Hi im in need of some help, so me and my ex of one year broke up about a month ago, we ended it on good terms and how we were gonna stay best friends and hows she is always going to want me in her life forever, we broke up because she was going through so much and she said that sometimes she felt more like a babysitter than a girlfriend and that since she was going through so much she couldnt be the caretaker for the both of us at the moment and that I have another year left of college left to figure myself out but that I was an amazing boyfriend , but then a day after my grandmother died and I did the stupid thing of telling her how much I miss her and how much wanted to be with her since she was also my best friend but that was because I was still in shock from my grandma died and then a week later she stopped snapchatting me and I said that idk if she hates me or not but if we could at least keep the streak and she said that snapchat is an everyday thing and that we are supposed to be giving space, that has been two weeks almost 3, I miss the girl like crazy, shes the love of my life and I want is to get her back but I having such a hard time not trying to text her its taking sheer force of will not to. Your reply to your ex should be short and sweet. She recently ended our 3yrs relationship. 2. You know, how breakups are hard on everyone involved. He was still a bit all over the place in his thoughts and said he needed to think about things. Hes wanted to see me and Ive always just been nervous to see him again about a month in after 4-9 hour phone conversations he said I love you and weve been saying that for the last three months we got into a fight about a month ago he was upset I hadnt come to see him but we continued on talking hes told me Im the one for him hes talked about houses to buy and having kids with me and that he thinks Im his twinflame hes even read books about twin flames hes sent me. What did you do then? But if your relationship was good, then you might want your ex back even after youve regained your composure. I called after to ask for a break because things can get better once we are presencial again, which he answered yes to. The greater the love the greater the loss. Perhaps you didn't make enough time for the relationship or maybe you even had an affair with someone else. Defriending after a break up is a very different move for people than removing someone's cell phone number from their phone. He got angry and broke up with me. Maybe they really have moved on and feel ready to rip the bandage off. The ultimate purpose of the no contact rule. Its up to your ex to decide what to do with shortcomings and relationship problems. Then he unblocked me for a month, and then blocked me again for 3, unblocked me for 2 weeks, and have been blocked ever since. No matter what I want YOU to be the one to text him. MY EX UNFRIENDED ME ON FACEBOOK (Why did they do it? Dont text her!!! Such people probably dont remember that one person they hooked up with once. It can also be used to detach yourself from a narcissistic or abusive partner. Now, there are a number of reasons an ex might choose to unfollow you. Allow her to experience what its like to be with others if thats what she truly wants. Its me, im bitches. I also didn't ever reach out to her and talk to her! I cant understand why he has done this as hes always been so set on being with me. So my ex (31F) broke up with me (26M) over a month ago after a 3 and a half year relationship. My ex texted . I am trying so so hard to push past my urges not to message him. The problem with stubborn men is that they wont want to communicate. Why the No-Contact Rule Does Not Work It's fair to say that a lot of people struggle to maintain 30 dayslet alone 60 daysof no contact with their ex. Something my ex said in a conversation still leave me thinking if I was an asshole during our relationship. Make sure you remain honest if you decide to speak. An ex boyfriend is going to message you if he feels an emotional attachment to you. Which is fine. Does your ex boyfriend even need to contact you during NC for you to be able to get him back? People often ask me, Will my ex forget about me during no contact? You agonize and fret about what your ex is thinking and feeling at that moment of no contact. Did he even care?. In that case, you should carry on with no contact and continue to detach and feel better. They cant break out of the downward spiral, so ending them is the only way to outgrow them. Thanks! As for a way back, thats why we have the program to give you the information and tools to attempt to get your ex back, but also work on becoming your best self. What does this mean?) So, do yourself a favor and dont turn into that on me. Female psychology after a breakup has shown that women tend to have a more intense emotional response after a breakup when compared to men. Sometimes it really pays to be the first one making the move on your ex because not only can you control things a little bit better it is always kind of nice when a guy feels wanted. Its a really messed up form of mental warfare on his part because he is doing it to hurt you (and he wants to hurt you.). You see, most men make relationship decisions based on their emotions. You see, a large portion of women who visit this site are under the impression that all they have to do to get their ex back is the no contact rule. Its just that we are afraid to open up about it. Lets say that you decide that you want to embark on the 30 day no contact period. because it's not the full 30 or 60 days yet, you're unsure of her feelings for you, you don't want to come across as desperate). She told me she couldnt compromise. No Contact Rule is equal to leaving your ex-partner alone for some time (i.e a few days, some weeks, 30 days, 45+) or giving your ex some space that provokes his/her thoughts regarding your relationship. He became indifferent although he occasionally told me he loved me. However, if he does end up biting the bullet and contacting you in that 21-30 day window that means there is a serious internal battle going on within him. He broke up 3 weeks ago. Will my ex move on, and Ill never hear from my ex again?. This time she didnt want to accept it with me or anyone that would tell her fuck you. What often happens when people hold their feelings in? Hope you get better soon. Its hard not hearing off someone you went from being best friends with to on/off with, back to friends then to not talking. 4. We were not at full plus capacity and we began bickering with each other. If the dumper feels guilty or remorseful for leaving the dumpee (especially if she left the dumpee for someone else), wouldnt no-contact actually help the dumper move on quicker? She cheated before. You will become that bothersome ex. He broke up with me after 1.5years over 4mths ago because he lost the connection as we didn't spend enough time due to conflicting schedules. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Well, if the two of you just have this never ending no contact battle with one another then nothing is going to happen that could help you two reunite. And because of this i have been so disrespectful to her. Answer (1 of 3): I can relate to your girlfriend as I did the same thing recently with my ex. Well, most likely you turned into a gnat that would never leave the guy alone. They may not like dumpees and have much respect for them, but they dont just forget they dated them. more than anything for you to contact him. What do you think is considered a long time for an ex boyfriend to respond to you? The odd thing Ive put on social media hes never viewed. She might look happy, but shes thinking about you. If you're the one that severed the relationship or did something that forced your partner to break it off with you, they may have some hurt feelings or anger issues to sort through. Should I reach out to him? It just means that with some guys you are going to have to be the one to make the first step. In fact, a lot of readers love when I go on one of my tangents about how important it is to be logical. However, there is also a time where it is very important to be emotional. Anyways, it seems that I have developed a new pet peeve when it comes to communicating with you ladies. I accepted the ring and later brought it back to him because I felt we should get to know each other better. Its been a week, probably not long enough. I wasnt her first boyfriend but I was her longest relationship so far (2 years) and she always told me I was the best boyfriend she had. That probably doesnt make you feel much better, but you need to know that dumpers dont always come back. You are always going to have to be the one to take the first step and press the action when it comes to communicating. He wants to know if you miss him, too. Youd been with your ex for months if not years, so there are a lot of memories and emotions at play here. In the beginning of this month my boyfriend broke up with me because he said he didnt feel the same as he felt before the lockdown, he told he as been feeling like this for 3 weeks now (its important to know that he suffers from diagnosed anxiety). Hes very stubborn. Thus, when a breakup occurs a lot of us dont like talking about it. Thanks for your time. We dated for a year and then broke up, he didnt think his feeling were where mine are and whilst they are growing for me he fears he wont get to a stage where I am. Cant understand what is going on. Following the no contact rule puts the power back in your hands. This may spark an interesting debate though because if an ex boyfriend is using his own silence to hurt you does it mean that he would ever consider a reconciliation? It shows you respect yourself, and arent willing to fight for a cheater. He left. Miss you and simple whats up will let her know that its cool hearing from her but you arent pressed. Once you've gotten your ex to refriend you, go ahead and ask her to meet up with you. Men like to be left alone after the breakup. Probably after few days or week either she is gonna sent you fren request again or even call you back .C. I never told him this. I'm guessing that maybe whoever shes dating tells her to block you. We were together 5 years with a 9 month break at the beginning. Look at this (she has a anonymous twitter account where she vent her fellings about everything), she does not know i know about it. MORE: Why the No Contact Rule Works Every Time. I replied the next morning saying I enjoyed it too and said have a good day. Get your stuff together. You see, every day when I wake up I do one of two things. Hit the gym, get new clothes, meditate, hang out with friends who make you feel awesome 5. But you shes right, you cant do that until you figure yourself out. For some reason every time I think of this example I think of your ex boyfriend just sitting in a dark room chanting: Ill show her Ill show her Ill show her.. My point is that you never know when he could contact you. His heart wants nothing more than to check up on you and see how you are doing. Best read since Lord of the rings was released. Would highly recommend to anyone wanting assurance and a little bit of female guidance from a different point of view. One of the most overlooked factors when it comes to the no contact rule is how the actual breakup will affect your boyfriend. Your ex may not ever want to be with you again, but your ex definitely wont forget about you. I have done some really shameful things when I have been ignored in the past. I have already defined what the no contact rule is in the opening paragraph of this guide but I havent really talked about what the purpose of it is. Its not that we dont care. She may never change and be able to appreciate what a great guy you are!! It just so happens that the time I did look at her profile she was online and I remember I blew her phone up angry that she was ignoring me. The best thing you can do is to move on. In other words, they would have to be extremely egoistic and constantly meet new people. If youre worried your ex will forget about you and scared your ex will find someone else, you need to know that what youre apprehensive about is much less important than what has already happened (the breakup).